My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
