Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
