At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't turn off my feet"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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