Christians are straight up FREAKS
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
