Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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