in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
