That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
