Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
