Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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