No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Randomize
