i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize