Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we're making bets on your personal life
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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