I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize