he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
