i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
