We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
did i walk over a car last night?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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