between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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