that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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