Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
