At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
