I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
