i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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