I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
