he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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