I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
