Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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