Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
