I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
