do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
