OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
