That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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