Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
