Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
