u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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