When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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