When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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