so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
