It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
