Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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