how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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