did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
