I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
