You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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