I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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