What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
