Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's just like the Real World with babies
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
