; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
