I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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