Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
