My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
