Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
