Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I will pee on everything he values.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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