Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
