i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
