@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
