I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
