is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
