Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
