its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
