Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
