nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
