next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
