I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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