Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
