so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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