it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
