Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
