I want to walk on stilts...naked
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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