This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
