I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
