At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
